To illustrate the search for peace, Buechner shares a story about his sister-in-law.
“And then there's the search for peace. Heaven only knows we're all searching for peace. Peace in terms of the war we fight with ourselves. Peace with the people we love with whom we war. Peace as an alternative to aggressive and defensive actions, snipings, guerrilla warfare. And two things come to my mind: One of them is I have a sister-in-law of whom I've always been very fond, but also she has the capacity for driving me crazy. At her best she is childlike and enchanting, imaginative, fun to be with; at her worst she is childish, egocentric, and difficult - somehow the air bends between her and me. But one day, about two years ago or three, I was sitting beside her at a meal in a restaurant, and I found myself without any premeditation at all telling her about a dream I had about her. ‘I dreamt about you last night, and the dream was very simple,’ I said. ‘I was sitting beside you somewhere, very much like this, and I looked at you in my dream, and I said I love you.’ And then I said, without premeditation, ‘And you know that's true.’ It changed the world. Tears welled up in her eyes. I suppose perhaps they did in mine too, because the truth had been spoken beneath the level of conflict. I did love her, I'd loved her and I was able to tell her that. It not only changed the relationship between her and me, but the waves went out, the ripples went out like when you touch a spider web in any one place the tremor is felt to the furthest reaches of the web, and all sorts of other relationships fell in place. With my brother when we're all together. And she doesn't drive me crazy anymore. When she does the things that used to drive me crazy, I think, well that's just the way she is, and I probably drive her crazy too. Anyway, peace was made between us.”
Frederick Buechner, The Remarkable Ordinary: How to Stop, Look, and Listen to Life, Grand Rapids: Zondervan, pp111-112.
To help you reflect…
Take some time to reflect on a situation or relationship that feels unpeaceful for you. What is the truth “beneath the level of conflict”? Take some time to dwell in that truth and notice whether it sends out any ripples into other situations or relationships.
40 Days of Buechner is a free offering but, as an independent writer, I gratefully welcome any financial support my readers may be able to give. If you’re enjoying this journey - or have appreciated any of my free offerings in the past - and you’d like to “buy me a coffee”, you can click the link below (any amount, however small, is welcome and appreciated). I also love to receive your emails, comments and notes. Thank you so much for being here, Jen x